Showing posts with label Mad Romps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mad Romps. Show all posts

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Barbara Boxers Top Ten Countdown

There are certain kinds of people in this world who just bring something special in to your life. People who dance, people who sing, people who love you and people who say they love you to sexually exploit you and drink your blood as you realize you've been betrayed and are now food for an undead fantasy creature, and then there's Senator Barbara Boxer. Without her, who would make the Senate exciting? Who would make it interesting? Who would make us laugh and cry at the same time? Let us celebrate the 10 greatest moments of Barbara Boxers California Dream.

10. Argumentus Ad Hominim Maximus after (mostly) serious questioning by a very angry Midwesterner:



9. Ask the President what her job is:



8. Keep the bleat of the news:



7. WRITE A NOVEL! (No, this is not satire.)



6. Be the fashion police and whine at the same time:



5. Make a cheesy, melodramatic speech in front of a polar bear picture:



4. Compare Abortion to Male Reproductive Health:



3.Watch Senator Boxer talk down to an American Military Officer:



2.Then refuse to apologize for it! (I apologize for the added captions - I couldn't find a pure unadultered version of this particular video.)



1.And just when you thought absolutely nothing could beat what you saw, have we got a surprise for you!



The official photo of my favorite senator. Public Domain.

Update 11/4/2010: For those of you who haven't heard, our favorite senator from the land of fruits and nuts will be around to entertain us a little while longer. Maybe she'll write another novel this time.

Public Domain from the Open Clipart Library

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Ghost Towns

A burial vault on the abandoned island of Stroma. By J M Briscoe, license here


I would like to apologize in advance for the lack of sources in the following article. It's covering a very wide bredth of information and my own personal thoughts picked up in a disorderly manner over a long period of time and a train of thoughts that would probably require dozens of sources to properly verify. This article is a romp. If you would like to debate any part of this article, feel free to do so in the comments section and I will do my best to defend my writing. There's a chance it may even be indefensible - there is some wisdom in checking with sources - if so, I will concede.

With so much talk about development, growth and the consumption of resources, every now and then I think it's helpful to return to the flip side - what happens when growth, in fact, goes in reverse. Stroma was at one time well populated, and the source of a feud between the Earls of Orkney and Caithness. The burial vault depicted is the mausoleum of a family that owned the island in the 17th century. In 1901, the population was about 375. The very last family left the island in 1962.

Stroma is not unique. The main Scottish side of my family, the MacRaes, are sometimes referred to as "Children of Kentail." Kentail is now part of the National Trust of Scotland, which is another way of saying that, by 1944, it was so underdeveloped that there was less interest in keeping it inhabited by human beings then in turning it in to a wildlife preserve. This is not unique to Scotland.

In the Mojave desert of Southern California, the desert of Nevada, and the mountains and timberland of Washington state are dozens upon dozens of ghost towns, that, in some cases, once had thousands of people, but are now only buildings rotting away, or already too far gone to be recognizable. The town of Redtown on the slope of Cougar Mountain is sometimes accredited with being the birthplace of Seattle, and had the greatest coal mines on the West Coast. They began mining there not long after the city of Seattle, about a thirty minute drive away, was settled in 1852. By 1918, the mines were totally abandoned, and the town found no further use until the Cold War, when it was briefly sealed off and used as a Nike missile launch site before finding its current use as a wilderness park. The buildings can no longer be seen, with the exception of a few sealed or grated mineshafts and a couple large cement foundations, now covered with moss, for steam hoists. Railroads were built there, but the tracks have been torn out, and the right of way used for biking paths.

You might complain it was a mining town, and the minerals ran out. That's not true - there is still coal in the ground. The demand, however, did run out. By the turn of the twentieth century, railroads to Colorado and Minnesota were carrying higher quality coal that burns cleaner and brighter inexpensively, and the cheap but almost worthless lignite at Cougar Mountain was no longer used for anything but steam boilers in ships. By 1918, there were no longer enough of these steamships on the sound to keep the mines open, and a series of smaller but higher quality mines to the Southeast in Black Diamond (a rural railhead still in use by local farmers) remained open until the 1980's for the small number of steam naval ships docked at Bremerton.

Kentail and Stroma were not mining communities. Stroma is a sheepfarm and harbor - a new port was built to service some commercial traffic shortly before the last families left, and both the harbor and the sheepfarm see some limited use still, but no one lives on the island full time, not even its owners. Kentail was partially farmland, and partially a meeting ground for Clan MacRae - the war cry of the MacRaes is a variation on the name of the mountain Squrr Fhagran (Squrr Uaran) that borders Kentail and can be seen from far away. Both of them, however, succombed to essentially the same fate as Redtown.

Although most farming communities in the US have suffered poverty and a population exodus over the last 100 years as modern farms brought lower prices and less need for labor, the US still has a reasonably strong agricultural economy that has retained SOME local population. The Highlands have not. The difference may be that in the US, our extensive system of railways and intermodal ports have centralized and strengthened the transportation of American produce, so that America is the agricultural exporter of choice for many nations that cannot produce enough to feed themselves. The American railroad may have saved the American farmer.



Great Northern train depot, Fargo, ND, 1939, Public Domain, work of Farm Security Administration

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Gospel of Joseph Stalin, Episode 1: Lazarus and Obama

Secretary General and Loving Father Stalin, who only sends those who really need it to Siberia to be worked to death. Photo taken by CCCP, public domain for all good comrades. Here


"There was once a very succesful politician who feasted sumptuously on the contributions of political lobbyists everyday. Outside his door was a politically hated Leper named the Republican Party. The Leper was very sick, and had nothing to eat in years since he was deemed unclean by the entire population of the world 4 years ago.

"Everyday he waited outside of the succesful politicians doors, asking only for the scraps given to the Europeans and Iranians. Worse, the Europeans and Iranians, after eating said scraps, licked his sores and called him a nitwit. Later that year, he caught a terrible case of Teaitis, and passed away. Teaitis is contagious, and so the succesful politician caught it too, along with a bunch of Illegal Immigrants in Arizona, and was laid to rest in a healthcare plan.

"The Leper was carried to the bosom of Sarah Palin, to a supremely comfortable midterm election with lots of lobbyists to provide them with everything they want, even Learjets! Meanwhile, the succesful poltician was burned over and over again in Political Hell by his own Death Panels. He cried out "Mother Palin, have mercy on me! Come send the Lazarus person with a large batch of Earl Grey to put out these flames all over me and make me think I still have Arugula money!"

"But Mother Palin replied, "Son, you had nothing but good things a couple Novembers ago, while he had nothing but bad, but beyond that, we would love to help you Dem man, but a great Gulf of Mexico has been fixed between us, so that anyone who goes there is considered an asshole, and anyone who comes here is considered a paranoid freak who most assuredly is far too paranoid and radical to do anything irresponsible with free money, I mean, campaign funds."

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Three Cheers for the Huffington Post!


First of all, we would like to thank the Huffington Post for so successfully scamming so many dozens of liberals of large amounts of their money. With less money to use for all purposes, they will be having less fun, and may perhaps be unable to send their kids to college in the near future, leading to more right-leaning university campuses. In addition, it reminds us once again which animal the Democrats picked as their symbol, and advances the cause of Social Darwinism through starvation.

Second, we would like to thank the Huffington Post for being extremely preoccupied with Glenn Beck. Not only does it make the fellow seem more important then he is, but it wastes large amounts of liberal time that could instead be devoted to rational arguments, political activism, or eventually learning to be Republicans. Then again, we would say time with family, but the extremely high levels of support for Abortion seem to indicate that Social Darwinism will score our finally victory for us! Haazaa!

Third, we would like to thank the Huffington Post for not paying their writers. It makes me feel great to know I am not the only unpaid blogger on the internet. I can just think of all the 1000's of writers that Arianna Huffington refuses to pay every day over my coffee, and go, "Ahhhh!!!!" It just makes me feel warm inside. Plus, I know that with the extensive hours they work rather then lazy bums like me who hardly ever update the site, they'll probably STARVE to death from too few paid workhours anyways! MORE SOCIAL DARWINISM!

So Hip-Hip-Hooray for the Huffington Post, Darwinian defeater of the Democrat Party! Haazaa!

(I'm not totally sure why I wrote this, but it's fun.)

Darwin Caricature from London Sketchbook 1874, by Faustin Betbeder. Copyright Expired